Comments to wyldchilde37@yahoo.com
Wyld's Notes: I just realized why I have been having trouble writing,
it's all serious stuff. While I seem to be doing that right. (I'm
still amazed people actually like reading my stuff. *g*) Still, I need
the laid back, tongue in cheek fun of Mystery Series Theater 3000.
That balances out my dramatic side, which helps keep Wyld happy, and
productive. This episode is one I wanted to do in the first season,
but I never quite got it. Enough is enough however Tsunkatse is going
down!
Disclaimer: This is done for purely entertainment purposes only, no
profit is being made or is intended to. This is not meant to infringe
upon the rights held by Paramount, Best Brains, or any others. Any
other rights are reserved. This story features B'Elanna Torres and
Seven of Nine in a loving relationship if you object to such things
you may as well move on.
(Sung to the Love Theme to Mystery Science Theater 3000)
Sometime in the Distant Future
Round the end of season three
Voyager found itself in Borg space
Drones as far as the eye could see
Then they lucked out and met a drone
Who got the Collective to leave them alone
Then on the way back to Earth they got off track,
Encountered Pearl Forester who went on the attack.
Bridge Crew Roll Call
Janeway: "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the Federation Starship
Voyager."
Chakotay: "All hands brace for impact!"
Doctor: "I'll reattach any severed limbs, just don't misplace them."
Harry: "Hi. My name's Harry read-me-like-a-book Kim."
Paris: "Captain Proton to the rescue!"
B'Elanna: "I must be completely paranoid about getting caught in a
compromising position."
Seven: "You are strong, You will make an excellent mate!"
Tuvok: "Both must resolve their Pon Farr before it kills them."
{On the bridge of the USS Voyager the shot opens showing Tom Paris and
Harry Kim and Kim's operations console. They have several sheets of
poster board and markers are strewn around. As they write on the
poster boards the rest of the crew shuffles in.}
B'Elanna (looking at Harry and Tom): "Ok, THIS is a bad sign."
Janeway: "Gentleman, do you know something about this experiment that
we don't?"
Harry (looking up, blushing): "Yes mam, Bobo said it was a wrestling
episode."
Doctor: "Oh now THAT sounds promising."
{The viewscreen comes to life showing Pearl and Bobo in the
Widowmaker. Bobo has a "WWF Attitude" T-shirt on under his lab coat
while Pearl has one hand on the van steering wheel and the other is
wearing a black foam hand with its middle finger raised.}
Pearl: "Hello my JOB squad. I have a treat for you today."
All: "A wrestling episode?"
Pearl: "How do you know?"
All: "Bobo told us."
Pearl: "BOBO!"
(Pearl hit's a button on the Widowmaker's dashboard. She then turns
around and slams into Bobo with a clothesline. His furry form is laid
out flat while Pearl turns back to the screen.)
Pearl: "Just because you know the episode doesn't mean you're going to
survive it! Now get in the ring!"
{Red alert sounds as the screw makes the way to the turbolift and the
scene fades.}
{The screen fades back in on a mid 20th century theater where the
crews silhouettes can be seen sitting (left to right) Janeway,
Chakotay, Tuvok, B'Elanna, Seven, the Doctor, Harry and Paris.}
Tuvok: "Tsunkatse" It seems that the Oriental image of many martial
arts has managed to cross tens of thousands of light years."
Harry: "Look on the bright side we will get to see Seven wrestle The
Rock."
Paris: "Do you smelllllllllllllllllll what the Collective is cookin?"
Seven: "Yes, I am sure it will be a fair and equitable match."
Paris: "Just what are you trying to say?"
B'Elanna: "She's trying to say that it will have more choreography
then the ballet."
Paris" Shut up! Just shut up!"
(Seven seems about to get up but B'Elanna puts a hand on her abdomen
to keep her sitting.)
B'Elanna: "Oh come on Tom, everyone knows."
Paris: "DON'T YOU SAY IT!"
B'Elanna (smirking): "Wrestling is fake."
Paris: "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tuvok: "Mr. Paris, anyone with your training in medicine should know
that if the maneuvers in wrestling were carried out at the suggested
force all wrestlers would be crippled or killed."
(Paris sulks while the rest of the crew looks unsettled.)
{The screen comes to life with the camera panning a crowd.}
Janeway (sniffing the air): "You can almost smell the body odor."
{Several Starfleet uniforms are seen.}
Janeway: "Must be Ransom's crew. There is no way my people would be
there."
(Janeway looks over at Paris and Kim and hangs her head.)
Doctor: "Would anyone like a dose of Dramamine to help with the
spinning camera?"
{A chime is heard.}
Chakotay (as ring announcer): "The techno-bell has sounded the start
of round one."
{One alien enters the arena with hair both long and in balls at each
side of his head.}
Paris: "It's Princess Leia and boy she has not aged well."
Harry: "That hair should count as a foreign object."
{A hirogen enters the ring and the two fight.}
Tuvok: "If the script were as well done as the fight choreography the
episode might turn out enjoyable."
Janeway: "If."
Tuvok: "If."
{The hirogen wins and the crowd starts chanting Tsunkatse.}
Chakotay: "Let's just be happy they're not chanting a swear word."
{Chakotay and Torres are seen applauding.}
(Chakotay and B'Elanna look at each other and hang their heads.)
Paris (to Torres): "What's your name?"
B'Elanna: "What?"
Paris: "It doesn't matter what your name is!"
Doctor: "Can we trust you will be doing this through out the episode?"
Paris: "Probably."
Janeway: "LIEUTENANT!"
(The crew turns around to see B'Elanna about to club Tom Paris with a
folding metal chair. Caught she holds the chair a second longer and
then sets it down with a grumble.)
{The shot changes to a flying shot of Voyager while Janeway makes an
entry into her log where she says she will be leaving Chakotay in
charge while she goes to a neighboring planet.}
Janeway (amazed): "I made it to an escape pod!"
Harry: "What about the captain going down with the ship?"
Janeway: "Who ever came up with that never had to deal with
entertainment executives."
Chakotay: "Leaving ME in charge? Do you feel well captain?"
{Janeway tells Chakotay to keep an eye on Neelixes attempts to use
Borg technology in the kitchen.}
Harry (as TV announcer): "Borg technology makes it better."
B'Elanna (shivering): "Yes, yes it does."
{Janeway says that she does not want him turning the mess hall into an
assimilation chamber.}
Janeway (as herself): "B'Elanna and Seven already programmed one into
the holodeck. I wonder about them sometimes."
{Chakotay says he will have a security team keep an eye on him.}
Paris (as Chakotay): "They will be prepared to use lethal force if he
tries to cook."
{Janeway tells him to tell the captain when she is being over
protective.}
(Chakotay takes a breath, but releases it when Janeway gives him one
of her glares.)
{Chakotay says he is looking forward to putting his feet up on her
desk.}
Janeway (as herself): "Just be sure to keep your pants on."
{B'Elanna comes up and tells Chakotay about the next Tsunkatse match.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Apparently it's some sort of grudge match. One
petted the other guy's dog or something."
{When Chakotay asks B'Elanna if she expects him to abuse his authority
to get Harry to cover.}
Chakotay (as himself): "I don't know how many more abuses of power I
can get away with."
{They enter the mess hall and see Neelixes leola ointment for his
sunburn.}
Paris (as Neelix): "Will one of you put it on me?"
Janeway: "COMMANDER!"
(The crew turns around to see Chakotay about to club Tom Paris with a
folding metal chair. Caught he holds the chair a second longer and
then sets it down with a grumble.)
Doctor: "I'm just worried he went for an all over tan."
{Neelix says his burn should be a nice golden brown in no time.}
Harry: "That must be the principle behind his cooking."
{He asks them how their shore leave has been going and B'Elanna says
they have been going to the Tsunkatse matches.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Yep Tsunkatse, it roughly translates to Smack
down!"
Doctor (as Neelix): "Gesundheit."
{Chakotay says it is a real test of strength and agility.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Kind of like Seven."
{Seven walks up and says that she heard Tsunkatse is crude and
pointless.}
Chakotay (as himself): "So are the scripts. What's your point?"
{B'Elanna says they won't be saving her a seat.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "You'll just have to sit in my lap."
{Tuvok joins them and Chakotay mentions his interest in the martial
arts.}
Tuvok (as himself): "I would not qualify professional wrestling as a
martial art, and as a sport. Hence the title "sports entertainment"."
{Seven and Tuvok tell about their mission to study a micro-nebula, and
Seven says she and Tuvok do not need recreational activities.}
(B'Elanna clears her throat.)
Seven (as herself): "Present company excluded."
{B'Elanna says the Borg would not know fun if they assimilated an
amusement park.}
Seven (as herself): "I guess the Collective will have to start looking
for girlfriends in the Empire."
{Chakotay orders them to try to enjoy themselves.}
Seven (as herself): "Then I will have to trade you Tuvok for
B'Elanna."
{Tom Paris walks into Cargo Bay 2 brining navigational information
Seven asked for.}
Paris (as himself): "Ok now B'Elanna has several ticklish spots."
(Seven looks interested as B'Elanna growls and the two settle back in
their seats grinning.)
{She says she will be gone 48 hours.}
Paris: "Oh naughty movie reference!"
(The crew stares at him.)
Paris: "That one even made ME feel dirty."
Janeway: "Don't worry Tom, I think it's just going to be a dirty
episode."
Paris: "and not in the fun kind of dirty way."
{Tom notes Seven packs just like B'Elanna.}
B'Elanna: "Where do you think she learned it from?"
Seven (as herself): "I am moving into her quarters so it seemed
appropriate."
{Seven insists she didn't over pack that she is just trying to be
prepared for any situation.}
(B'Elanna sighs happily.)
Janeway: "Lieutenant?"
B'Elanna: "Sorry mam, just imagining Seven in a Girl Scout uniform."
{Tom realizes she wants her own things with her, and says B'Elanna is
the same way.}
Harry: "This really should be giving you a hint Tom."
Seven (as herself): "My things, or B'Elanna's. I have found her
uniform jacket very comfortable to regenerate in."
{Tom tells Seven about Toby the targ and Seven asks if Toby can fix
hull ablation.}
B'Elanna: "Yes, yes he can. Toby can do anything!"
{Seven says his comparison is flawed.}
Seven (as herself): "I do not need something soft and cuddly."
(B'Elanna clears her throat.)
Seven: "Present company excluded."
{The Doctor finds Seven walking down the hall and invites her to visit
Norkadia's museums.}
B'Elanna: "I want to crack a joke, but your expression is already
mocking him enough."
Tuvok: "I believe Seven should take him up on the offer. Then she may
be spared being in the episode."
{She asks if the Doctor thinks she should spend time with someone like
him, and he says she could do worse.}
Seven (as herself): "Not by much."
Tuvok: "I object to being "worse" then the Doctor."
{She offers to take the Doctor with them and he declines.}
Janeway: "Ouch! You know you are in bad shape when a program finds you
dull."
{In the shuttlecraft Seven notes the have went 2 hours, 37 minutes, 13
seconds with out verbal communication.}
Seven (as herself): "They have been the happiest 2 hours, 37 minutes,
13 seconds of my life."
{Tuvok asks why that is remarkable.}
Seven (as herself): "The rest of the crew of Voyager has the
unfortunate need to babble."
{She says the Doctor encourages her to fill the uncomfortable
silences.}
Tuvok (as himself): "The Doctor's results with that philosophy have
been less then successful."
{An alien vessel appears, dampens all systems and beams an explosive
device in under a minute.}
Tuvok: "The vessel is already having its way with us, and I fear it is
a sample of things to come."
B'Elanna: "I would think I would disable the magic button that
disables all of our systems at dramatically appropriate moments."
Chakotay: "No, because it sits on the desk of the writers so that they
don't have to write out a realistic capture."
Janeway: "In this case I think they did it just to give The Rock more
screen time."
Harry: "Scary thing is it's the same quality of writing."
{The device explodes and the scene changes to a white room where there
is a slow pan up Seven's body as an alien scans her.}
B'Elanna: "Normally a slow pan of her body would be a good thing, but
this camera man looks like he is trying to earn his gynecological
degree."
Paris: "I guess the WWF tradition of sexually harassing your female
stars is alive and well."
(Seven seems to have gotten remote, and with out a word B'Elanna wraps
her arms around her. Just as wordlessly Seven relaxes into the
embrace.)
Chakotay: "This isn't funny any more, it's getting "Retrospect" bad."
Janeway: "We will just have to hope the comity that wrote this gets
tried of the sex and moves on to the violence."
Doctor: "Though I suggest a brisk shower for everyone after the
episode, and that does include me."
Janeway: "We'll get the wire brushes out of storage."
(The crew seems to want to say more, but settles back, each member
seeming to grumble in their own way.)
{The alien tells her she is going to be a popular competitor in
Tsunkatse.}
B'Elanna (growling): "I think the writer has watched one too many
"Women Behind Bars" movies."
Paris: "Oh, this guy HAS to be a McMahon."
{The aliens who name is revealed as Penk says nothing is more
important then the comfort and happiness of his fighters.}
Doctor (as Penk): "Here are your steroids and narcotic grade pain
killers."
{When she refuses to fight they bring in Tuvok and says that one of
them will fight.}
Janeway (highly sarcastic tone): "Of course Seven was the one to come
through with out a scratch. So she is the best choice to fight."
{On Voyager Chakotay, Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna talk about the fights.}
Chakotay: "Ah yes now the moral of the story. For those not willing to
simply accept the holier then thou condemnation that has become
typical of the series I ask you to consider this. While professional
wrestlers grunt and groan and swear and cuss on TV there are also
Olympic athletes who train their entire life to beat their opponent.
The competition is not the crime, nor is admiring those who are
skilled enough to compete. It is when the competition is forgotten in
the face of simple brutality."
{Harry talks about taking a Paresi mallet to the ribs, and Chakotay
says he didn't know he played.}
Harry (as himself): "I didn't a bunch of players beat me up once."
{Harry and Tom start throwing pretend punches.}
(All but Harry and Tom starting humming "Three Blind Mice.")
{Chakotay and B'Elanna leave the mess hall and Chakotay tells her he
has her covering the bridge while he goes to the match to which
B'Elanna blames her big mouth.}
Seven (looking up from snuggling against B'Elanna): "Your beautiful,
full mouth."
(B'Elanna looks at her questioningly.)
Seven: "I find it much more pleasant to contemplate then the episode."
{In sickbay the Doctor finds out that Neelix had an allergic reaction
to the leola ointment. He tells Neelix to stay out of the sun and
offers to take him with to the museum on entomology.}
Harry (as Neelix): "Aren't I an enough pain?"
{Back at the Tsunkatse arena The Rock enters and arches his eyebrow.}
Paris: "The People's Eyebrow!"
(Paris ducks and looks behind him.)
B'Elanna: "Yeah, well he's going to have to face the Collective's
eyebrow."
(B'Elanna kisses Seven's occular implant.)
{The crew talks about how fearsome he looks.}
Janeway: "Of course he's fearsome, he making a guest appearance."
{Seven enters the ring.}
B'Elanna: "Ok, script aside. I like the outfit."
Chakotay: "That must be why they didn't let us bring B'Elanna. She'd
just jump down there to help Seven."
{The crew tries to shout out to her.}
Seven: "I believe B'Elanna could give you lessons in shouting out my
name."
(B'Elanna blushes.)
{Seven tells The Rock she possess superior strength and he says he's
trembling.}
Seven: "Is that why you."
B'Elanna (laughing): "No, I was trembling for an entirely different
reason."
{She says resistance is futile, and he says so is all her talk.}
Paris: "Umm Mr. People's Champ? That's a case of the pot calling the
kettle black."
{Seven lays a series of hits, which drives The Rock to one knee.}
Seven: "I believe this is where they are giving me a "good showing"
even though The Rock's victory has been predetermined."
Tuvok: "So it goes from being insulting to simply degrading?"
Seven: "Yes."
{Chakotay calls Voyager and surprises B'Elanna with news of Seven in
the match.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Seven is in a gladiator outfit and I'm missing
it!"
{He tells B'Elanna to beam Seven out of there.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "Locking coordinates to beam her directly to my
quarters!"
{Seven manages to line Rock up for a finishing blow, but hesitates.}
Seven: "The match is non-lethal so there is no reason for me to
hesitate."
{The Rock finishes her off with his signature move the Rock Bottom.}
Paris: "Jeez! Why didn't they just glue those foot print things to the
floor?"
Harry: "So they pimped out Seven of Nine to stroke the Rocks ego? Have
they NO shame?"
Tuvok: "I believe their absence of shame has been well established."
{The shot changes from the arena to Voyager where they talk to Janeway
over the viewscreen and go over their lack of results with sensors and
diplomacy.}
B'Elanna (as herself): "We KNOW they kidnapped our people, namely
MINE. Why don't we just grab one of them and shake them till something
breaks loose?"
Janeway: "Because that would violate Starfleet procedure."
Tuvok: "They are still missing a logical avenue of questioning in the
planet bound proprietors of Tsunkatse."
{Seven wakes up back in the gladiator area where the Hirogen is
treating her with a dermal regenerator.}
Doctor: "At least he seems to be a gentleman about it."
B'Elanna: "I don't know what it is, but there is something. honorable
about him."
{Seven asks him why he's helping them.}
Chakotay (as the hirogen): "It may be bad to be on Voyager, but even
being a supporting character is better then being one of the
background."
{He says he skills were impressive and she says her opponent would
disagree.}
Paris: "Actually he just made a sexually derogatory remark, but that's
the WWF for ya."
{He says she hesitated at the last moment, questioned her desire to
destroy her prey.}
Harry (as the Hirogen): "You forgot that this entire episode is a
pathetic ploy to play off his popularity."
{He says he saw it in her eyes.}
Seven (as herself): "You are mistaken, I saw the producer over his
shoulder."
{He says there is no difference between a survivor and a champion.}
Janeway: "Sounds like starring on Voyager."
{Penk comes in and says she was a success.}
Paris: "Well they already have her in a silver copy of Sable's
outfit."
Harry: "When she manages to escape do you think he will sue to keep
the name "Seven"?"
{He says there is a lot of hostility towards the Borg in the sector.}
B'Elanna: "People don't like the Borg? Can't imagine why. They must
REALLY not like the Borg because Seven bears little resemblance to
your run of the mill drone."
{He says that every time her opponent landed a blow their audience
grew.}
Doctor: "Wouldn't they have had to have been watching already to see
him land the blows?"
{Penk tells her she is in a red match the day after tomorrow.}
Janeway: "Let me see if I can understand his reasoning. He has the new
fighter who everyone loves to hate. So he is threatening to kill her
off in her second match?"
{The Hirogen says he knows her opponent and will train her how to kill
him.}
All: "Gee, I wonder who her opponent is?"
{Seven asks the Hirogen to teach her.}
B'Elanna: "Damn it! If anyone should be teaching Seven anything it
should be me!"
(Janeway and the Doctor seem ready to speak.)
B'Elanna: "Shut up!"
(Seven slips from B'Elanna's embrace and takes B'Elanna in her arms.)
Paris: "Looks like you two are wrestling already."
Janeway: "ENSIGN!"
(The crew turns around to see Harry about to club Tom Paris with a
folding metal chair. Caught he holds the chair a second longer and
then sets it down with a grumble.)
{Seven is seen performing a several maneuvers.}
B'Elanna (voice softening): "Ok, so there are some good points to the
episode."
{Seven and the hirogen talk about his past and when he tells her about
being kidnapped 19 years ago she feels sorry and drops her guard. He
takes advantage and attacks her to show her she can not sympathize
with her prey.}
Tuvok: "That was either a well written scene, or highly talented
acting."
Paris: "I'd put my money on the acting."
{Neelix beams back to Voyager from the surface and Chakotay talks with
him about how they would still be cheering if their people had not
been taken.}
Doctor: "I'm not sure which beating is more brutal. The one Seven
suffered at the hands of The Rock, or the way the audience is being
beaten over the head by the moral of the story."
{B'Elanna and Harry are working in astrometrics as Chakotay and Neelix
enter.}
B'Elanna: "I must have needed to spend some time in Seven's place, and
I keep falling down each time I try to sleep in her alcove."
{They show the Tsunkatse area-ship and see it's far too big for them.}
Seven: "Which raises the question why I have not started assimilating
their crew. While the experience is would unpleasant for me death
would be far worse."
{Back in the gladiator quarters Seven is seen moving through a series
of Tsunkatse moves.}
B'Elanna (pouting): "Could I hope we would just have the rest of the
show be this?"
{The hirogen gives her a final pep talk before sending her to rest
before her match.}
Harry: "Wow! un-icky chemistry."
{Tuvok and Seven talk about her reservations about killing.}
Doctor: "Hey! Wait a second! The authorities might not have questioned
how they were getting fighters, but didn't someone start asking
questions when they started killing each other?"
Tuvok: "You are making one mistake Doctor. you are applying logic to a
script that is devoid of it."
{Penk enters with two guards.}
Tuvok: "Two guards in close quarters with a room full of trained
fighters seems an insufficient security procedure."
{In the ring the red match starts and Seven and the Hirogen enter.}
All (sarcastic): "What a surprise!"
{The Hirogen tells Seven he wants a noble death.}
B'Elanna: "I think he just wants to get slapped around by a blonde in
a skin tight outfit."
Paris: "Hey, who doesn't?"
Janeway: "Seven!"
(The crew turns around to see Seven about to club Tom Paris with a
folding metal chair. Caught she holds the chair a second longer and
then sets it down with a grumble.)
{Chakotay hails Penk and demands the return of Seven and Tuvok. He
says that while he respects they are a fighter, but they are not match
for him.}
Chakotay (as himself): "Fool! I am a main character, that gives me the
edge in any fight!"
{Seven and the Hirogen battle.}
Chakotay: "Now this is a fight, two competitors, no egos. Sure they
are being forced, but it is still an honest competition. The audience
is not a factor."
{Tuvok tells Chakotay Seven is fighting to the death.}
Janeway: "It appears I can't leave you in charge because if I were
there I would have intercepted the signals to keep an eye on my
people."
{In the ring the Hirogen says she is imperfect.}
All (but Seven): "Uh oh!"
{Seven lands half a dozen kicks and he asks if that is the best she
can do. She then lands half a dozen more kicks.}
B'Elanna: "It must be my klingon side, but seeing Seven so POWERFUL."
(B'Elanna purrs.)
{They decide to take out the generators because if no one is watching
they have no reason to continue the fight.}
Chakotay: "Well there is the contest, the challenge, but that's to
deep of a concept I guess."
{The Delta Flyer arrives.}
Tuvok: "So an enhanced shuttle craft will make a difference when
Voyager itself could not?"
Paris: "Hey, that MY shuttle craft. So of course it will."
Janeway: "Tuvok."
(The crew doesn't even turn around, but they hear the folding metal
chair being put down and Tuvok getting back to his seat.)
{The fields weaken and Harry is able to get Seven and the Hirogen, but
no individual signals.}
Harry (as himself): "Luckily transporter accidents only happen at
dramatically appropriate times."
{They are beamed back to Voyager where Paris and security officers
hold phasers on Seven and the Hirogen, but she says that the fight is
over.}
Seven (as herself): "Sadly the episode is not."
{In sickbay the Doctor tells Seven he will help he if she needs
anything and Seven apologizes for him saying he is overprotective.}
Paris: "Gee, I wonder why."
Janeway: "Doctor!."
(The crew turns around to see the Doctor about to club Tom Paris with
a folding metal chair. Caught he holds the chair a second longer and
then sets it down with a grumble.)
{Tuvok helps Seven in astrometrics where he helps her with her guilt.}
Janeway: "45 minutes of show, and at the most 10 minutes of worth
while scenes."
B'Elanna: "All involving Seven."
Janeway (smiling): "All involving Seven, yet none involving the guest
star they put in all the ads. I believe that is what we call bait and
switch."
{She refers to lingering pain.}
Seven: (as herself): "B'Elanna has spoke of kissing it and making it
better. While it did not work the first time she has suggested we
repeat the treatment."
{Tuvok tells her that her guilt is not the loss of humanity, but the
affirmation of it.}
Chakotay: "Now that's a HIGH quality scene."
Tuvok: "The logic possessed by Seven of Nine and myself tends to
counteract the normal senselessness of the episodes."
Seven: "The episode has ended and logic indicates we leave."
All (but Seven): "We will comply."
{The crew heads for the arch as the holodeck reverts to its normal
grid.}
{On the bridge Paris is seen holding a microphone. As Seven walks on
screen he pulls her to stand next to him.}
Paris (holding the microphone between them): "Seven, you just faced
the People's Champion, The Rock, any thoughts?"
Seven (linking her hands behind her back): "The match was lost due to
outside interference from the writers."
Paris: "So you're saying The Rock wouldn't have stood a chance? A
clear case of eyebrow envy? Cause Seven of Nine said so!"
(A resounding clang is heard and Paris drops to the ground. As he
falls Captain Janeway is seen holding the folding metal chair.)
Janeway: "It had to be done."
{The screen comes to life with a maniacally grinning Pearl Forester.}
Pearl: "Looks like I've got you for the three count."
Janeway: "We haven't tapped out yet."
Pearl: "Well I'll a whole new submission hold ready for next time."
Janeway: "Just bring it."
{Pearl growls and presses the button and the screen fades to black.}
{A close up shot of Seven's face in gladiator costume with strands of
hair hanging loose as she says. "Teach me."}